Super Bowl Singles!

I’m certainly curious about what it will be like to date, so I asked a girlfriend if she might like to go to my club to watch the football game this weekend. Maybe, I said, there would be some guys there.

But I actually have no idea. It could be families. Or it could be the guys who who roll in with me before 6am to work out, which would mean we’d be looking at an Anna Nicole Smith – J. Howard Marshall age spread. (And hey, maybe that’s not a bad thing. Seems like it worked out for her. I’m not going to judge.)

My friend suggested we consider various dive bars as alternatives, which raised, for me, deeper questions about exactly whom I am hoping to meet. In quick succession, I wondered:

• I wonder where cute single guys go to watch the Super Bowl?
• I wonder where cute single guys who have the characteristics I’d like to find in a guy go to watch the Super Bowl?
• Knowing what I know about football, the NFL, and concussions, plus what I know about the way college players are used like fundraising bait with no regard for their health or education, do I even want to meet any cute single guys who have already made plans for the Super Bowl and are really excited about watching it?
• Is there a place cute single guys who are equally disgusted by the football industrial complex go during the Super Bowl to do something other than watch the Super Bowl? Or do they just sit in the cognitive dissonance for the sake of fellowship and queso? If so, how can I tell which ones they are?

This whole ‘going somewhere to meet cute single guys’ is going to be like watching TV while feminist, isn’t it?

I’ll report back.